Have you ever had that moment where you just stopped and looked at what you are doing and living right now and asked
"What am I doing? Is this even what I want or what I wanted?"
Most of the time, the answer would be "Yes, I've had these moments come to me so many times. No, I really don't know what I'm doing right now because honestly this is nothing that I wanted."
And the question to come, I fear the most,
"Then why are you still doing it? Why aren't you living the dream you want?"
Yeah, why aren't you? Why aren't I?
Because, just because maybe, I don't have the guts to. Because it will take more than guts to leave everything behind. Because there is this fear that what I really want is not what really is the best for me. To do things you love, no, this notion doesn't exist in this society. It doesn't exist anywhere. And most of the time even if it did, it was because of a pair or a few pairs of hands that helped held that person up as he climbed out of that hole, those hands that helped fight back the ones that are pulling you back, those voices that shout out to you "GO! GO! GO! You can do this! Continue on! Press on! Follow your dreams!" And these people, they succeed putting everything down and running into the arms of their dreams.
But most of us, the sounds of insecurity and fear drown us out that we don't have the courage to break free. Shows, books, they are written to inspire you but how many people actually felt inspired enough to make a big change and then to actually stick to such a change and move forward to it.
I look up the hole and I desperately want to go out but those chains and hands are holding me back, and my wings, I don't think they are mended enough for me to fly anywhere, anymore. And this feeling, it sucks, it hurts, it cuts. So so bad.
