so many emotions or at least the usual ones running through me. try so hard to break out of this shell but i guess its really too hard. i always shrink to a strict and emotionless person once i am stress and no matter how i try to crack a smile and keep it there for at least an hour, i always go back to my poker face. i get easily irritated by little little things and it just makes me so fed up all the time for not worth it stuff. i guess i really have to constantly remind myself what is worth feeling for and what is not.
feel like learning boxing, to box all my stress and unhappiness away. but time is really not on my side.
no idea whether its cause of myself but i feel that its getting abit cold around me these few days. friends try to care but i keep pushing away cause i know i wouldn't be able to give them 100% and i hate that i can't give 100% to the people i love and care for. so i guess for know, i just have to hurt them for awhile. but i WILL make it back, i promise. but glad i have friends there for me (:
now i complain less to my friends cause i know that everyone feels the same way so why bother saying so much. though i know bottling up is bad also but i don't want to trouble them to hear what i have to say. everyone have enough trouble of their own.
have to learn how to reign my tongue cause i tend to shoot so fast when i am angry and say things i regret. just like what some people say "the best speech you make that you will regret for life, is when u are angry" i do not want to regret the words i said though there are many speeches that i have already spoken but i guess i can only hope that those speeches would soon decrease and i would be happier (:
will always remember these words a friend once said to me.
hope i don't lose myself so soon. i really need to keep sane.
